fuck it. your ex might be coming back
can we get some empathy in the chat?
“No hashtags, this was meant for you! Like and comment to claim. He’s thinking about you again. 111, 333, 555. Aries Leo Capricorn Libra. Someone REGRETS how they treated you and are on their way back to you soon.”
When I first started reading tarot as a teenager, my questions ranged from being monstrously large (“What is my purpose here on earth?”) to arguably stupidly small (“How am I going to do on this math assignment?”).
My concerns were anything from philosophical to frivolous to esoteric to silly, but most importantly they were always semi-experimental. When I had first begun reading, a piece of advice I was offered and immediately internalized was that, as beginner readers, your first readings are going to be inaccurate — and that’s okay.
Whether or not this was true in actuality, believing this as true, I think, did free me in many ways from stressing over my answers, interpretation processes, or “getting it right”. I was able to focus on practice, my learning, and further develop my love of the craft without holding myself to a specific standard of quality or accuracy.
Somewhere along the way, I sense we have lost a bit of this spirit.
how did we get here?
TikTok “‘FYP’ readings” are like a younger cousin of YouTube pick-a-card readings, digital divination now ported into a platform that demands more attention but offers less time for creators to capture it.
Because of this, readings are inevitably going to be shorter, interpretations being less in-depth or explained and instead centered on the end-result message that the reader lands upon.
Being successful on social media as a reader in general also usually involves skills beyond just reading cards. At least while online, being a skillful cartomancer isn’t enough if you aren’t also a decent content creator — after all, it’s half the job now, like it or not. TikTok is probably even more demanding in that right, as having assets like style, charisma, succinct communication, and video editing skills will increase your chances of actually capturing and sustaining the attention necessary to even get someone to listen to your reading.
(Guys, can we be honest? Do you like someone’s “vibe” or is it their optics? It’s just a question worth asking).
And because TikTok is more likely to introduce a reader’s content to someone unacquainted with tarot as a concept, and there is little time at all for exhaustive explanations, I have sensed and seen some understandable angst and frustration coming from the tarot community (especially those who might be older and more seasoned) about the potential harms of this reading format and its popularity.
so what’s the beef?
Before I begin playing defense, I want to lay out some concerns about FYP readings that I view as extremely legitimate, and that I do think are worth seriously discussing as a community:
With shortened time, there is very little space to properly explain what a reading is for or walk through standard disclaimers for general community readings (which can be important). I believe it is the responsibility of a reader to be clear about what the limitations of a community or general reading might be.
Repeated emphasis on love readings with promising outcomes and simple narratives (whether simplified due to time or not) can quickly become exploitative if not handled carefully and with grace.
TikTok contains a predominantly younger audience, more vulnerable to this potential exploitation and fearmongering.
Grabs for engagement (“like to claim, follow to LOCK IN your reading”) are… something that happens. If I am trying to be extremely fair, I have had older readers, in real life, ask me to do certain things after sessions (like not speak about my reading until a certain amount of time has passed, or keep a specific crystal on my person) in a somewhat “superstitious” fashion… I guess. But it’s hard to see “like and comment to claim” as some sort of serious spiritual intention or tradition. (Maybe it is for some, but all I’m saying is that I have yet to hear it explained).
you guys are really gonna make me defend the love readings now
Along the way, amidst the rise of FYP readings and also the resistance of other readers toward them, the tarot community developed in-jokes about the style of FYP reading that have gotten regurgitated over… and over… and over. It goes something like this:
TikTok tarot reader: “Your ex is coming back!”
TikTok tarot reader: *shows The Tower*
(Haha, get it? The joke is that TikTok readers don’t know how to read cards, because The Tower is a “bad” card. Haha! Glad we all get it).
My annoyance with this joke is mostly that at this point it’s a bit overplayed — but hey, make that joke again if you want to. It’s not like I haven’t made it before either.
I do take a more serious grievance with where this has deteriorated over time. Gradually, somehow the joke stopped being about the readers and instead has been pushed onto the querents too. Now it can also go like this:
Client: is my ex coming back?
Me, an honorable, big brain, and serious tarot reader: *rolls eyes* [clown music playing]
Can we be honest with ourselves? As readers, I think there is a part of us that will naturally want to defend our community, as well as our authenticity and integrity as readers. A public perception that all tarot readings are quick-bite, generic love readings doesn’t feel good for most of us, and it’s easy to want to distance ourselves — “But I’m not like that! My readings are about real stuff. Tarot is about serious growth!”
but it’s fine to care about love, y’all.
❤️✨Romantic love✨❤️ is, and always has been, a topic of central interest for tarot clients; no matter your personal preference, this is a truth as old as time, and will likely remain unchanged even if FYP tarot readings fall out of fashion. What is more human than to concern ourselves over who and what we love?
Memes and jokes and poking fun aside, we must remember that there is a person on the other side of the table asking that question and seriously emotionally invested in the answer. This is their life.
Is it an interesting or fun question? No, but it’s not a client’s responsibility to ask me an interesting or fun question. (Catch me throwing my deck off a cliff before you catch me making fun of them for asking a genuine, personal question, no matter how tired or annoyed I may be. It is my job to leave that at the door).
And guess what? I’ll say it — people’s lives are unpredictable, messy, complicated, and sometimes, their exes even fucking come back. (Is that likely or ideal? I don’t know, probably not. But who cares? Everyone is different, and everyone should be met with a clean slate). If you are going into a reading with preconceived ideas about what is likely for someone, what is an “ideal outcome” for them, or what their relationship looks like, you are setting yourself up for biased interpretations.
so no more jokes?
I’m not the comedy police — I just want us to ask ourselves why we are making the jokes, and at whose expense they are being made.
We all love asking questions, and we all started somewhere, probably asking clumsily-crafted ones and stumbling into half-baked interpretations. We have all executed less-than-perfect readings, experimented with clunky methods, and worked with “generic” interpretations before landing on something meaningful and nuanced.
And haven’t we all wrestled with a curiosity that someone else may view as silly or unimportant? Kept ourselves awake at night wondering how someone else felt about us? Worried about how we are perceived?
When we crack these jokes or have these discussions, I’d like us to look inward with a few self-reflective questions too: are we bringing ourselves closer to other readers, our clients? Are we opening up a conversation about the complexities of general readings and the digital space to improve the community, or are we fostering a “me versus them” mentality? And is it really about healthy in-group criticism or is it a superiority complex?
Only you really will know the answers to these — or, hell, go ahead and ask your tarot deck too.